This was my day. Slept in a bit, but got up about 8:30 with a lot on my mind. I spend almost all my waking hours thinking about mom and the rest of my family - I also think about how little time I have to enjoy my husband and grand kids and how little I relax anymore. There is so much to do. I walk over to David's - he's already outside feeding his chickens and has already been up to help mom with breakfast. He said she was a little distraught because she didn't get dinner last night - he went up to see her about 10pm after our family meeting. By that time, there wasn't anything to get her except some ice cream he had brought up. David is always trying to make her food that she likes and is always cooking and planning additions to all her meals. He has to pulverize everything he makes - she likes it the consistency of pudding now.
After visiting with Robert for a bit - I get on over to mom's house. I've got to go through all her files and start trying to make some sense out of all her accounts and files. Mike and David and I are meeting Monday at 2:00 and I don't want to waste any one's time fumbling around looking for stuff...so I think, just go through her file drawers and see what's there and get them out on the dining room table.
Before I got there David had already made Danny's breakfast ready to be reheated for when he woke up. He's a late sleeper. David was already back up to see mom - even though Kitt was taking the 12:00 lunch today - he wanted to see if he could talk to mom about trying to stay on schedule. He was also making her some special soup he created. He loves her very much and really spoils her with delicious foods.
Danny had just eaten when I got there and was cleaning up the kitchen. So - it was quiet, just me and Dan. I've been wanting to talk to him for awhile now without distractions. We've talked about giving him a schedule of jobs to do - keep him active and involved. Mom had a lot of 2012 calendars hanging around so I grabbed a bunch of them and told him that we were going to make a schedule for him and he could pick out his calendar. He went through them all and liked the one with ocean and underwater photography. Then, we sat at the table and made lists for every day of the week. We talked about how he was the man of the house now and needed to take care of it. We decided to let Rosa go (the house cleaner), and I think Danny likes being back in charge. He helped me think of things, and then I had him read the calendar back to me to be sure he could read my writing. And, he gets Saturday and Sunday off, just like everyone else who has a job. He seemed really proud of himself and really cleaned the kitchen good, including sweeping all the tile floors - that wasn't even on his schedule. We got the sheets off his bed and put them in the washer. He likes to switch the laundry to the dryer and likes to fold and put away. He made up his own bed and when I left today he was thoroughly dusting all his shelves in his room and was going to vacuum too. Next Saturday he goes to his ARC party - he's looking forward to that.
So - back to the files. I got them all out on the table with labels on them. I'm opening all mom's mail and paying all her bills. There's insurance stuff I've gotten in the mail and don't know what to do with. Thankfully we have Mike! He is so smart and has a head for business and knows insurance and he's very calm and ordered in his thinking. He's a good balance for David and me. David is very "passionate" and determined, and I'm trying to keep things organized. I just hope Mike doesn't laugh at me tomorrow when he sees the dining table. I'm just trying to help, but I think he thinks I go a little overboard. I used up almost a whole pad of sticky notes! I'm looking forward to tomorrow. This is where the pedal hits the metal. We don't have much time to make some major decisions about mom's life. We are all very saddened about the decisions that we will have to make and I know my stomach is in knots when I realize that we are essentially having to put mom in a home. We just can't take care of her at home, and it's very agonizing. I know this is not how she wants to live. We have so much work to do.
I got all her bills paid and opened all the mail from the last two days and threw away so much junk.
I am so thankful to Estherlene who is helping with returning tons of merchandise mom bought before she got sick that she just can't use now - about $600.00 worth I think. Every little bit will help. And, I'm thankful for my daughters who have pitched in 110% for me and all of us. Kitt with her notes and visits to mom, Kelly and Ken for getting this blog up so quickly. For Robert for all his love and kind support to me and all my family. I don't know what I'd do without him. And most of all for David - he's an incredible loving, giving brother and son. And I'm so proud of him - February 8th is his 10th anniversary and we are so lucky to have him back in our lives.
Well, Sherry had the dinner hour with mom. Not sure how that went. David I'm sure will be up later before she goes to bed. I'll be up tomorrow to get her schedule organized.
Had a good long conversation with Rick today. I'm so happy to have this blog for him and his family to follow. I know how hard it is to be so far away. We will post some pictures too so he can follow along with current events better.
I did have fun tonight! I've been looking forward all day to going to Kitt and Jack's house for a super bowl party. I got to play with Sage and Sean and be with friends and family. We laughed and played and forgot our troubles for a few hours. Sage was worried I might have a relapse from Christmas!
So - tomorrow will bring a new set of challenges. I am going to try to stay calm and focused and stay thankful for all that I have.
I love you all.
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